


Five Times Tony Gave Someone A Ridiculous Present And They Loved It

by DaughteroftheSilverMoon



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And His Family Appreciates Them, Because I can, But Nobody Wanted a Tiger Cub, Fluff fluff fluffity fluff, Gen, Once They Stop Facepalming, Tony Gives Insanely Awesome Gifts, Warning for fluff, and it's fun, except me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-19 23:35:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14883389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughteroftheSilverMoon/pseuds/DaughteroftheSilverMoon
Summary: Tony loves to give gifts to his family. Sometimes the gifts are wacky, but they love him. And they usually turn out to be really, really good.





	Five Times Tony Gave Someone A Ridiculous Present And They Loved It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dls/gifts), [xlittlemissashx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlittlemissashx/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Family Group Chat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10650057) by [xlittlemissashx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlittlemissashx/pseuds/xlittlemissashx). 



> So xlittlemissashx posted a fic a while back where she joked that Tony bought Mrs. Rhodes an island. And then dls and I started riffing about gifts Tony would totally buy. And then this happened. 
> 
> Also, today is my birthday and I am a Hobbit-type person, so in true Hobbit form, here is my gift to you guys.

**I.**

“JARVIS?”

“Yes, Mr. Hogan?”

“Why do I have an email telling my that my production company is reading scripts? Since when do I have a production company? And what are we producing?”

“Sir was concerned that you would find your convalescence dull, so he bought you a production company. They produce television shows, and Sir wanted you to have something to look forward to since Downton Abbey will be ending its run soon. Your only duty is to decide what you would like to see aired. Perhaps an adaption of Patricia Wentworth’s Miss Silver mysteries? I know you enjoy them.”

“Huh. That’s- kind of brilliant, actually. I don’t think they’ve been televised. And I’d love to see an adaption of the Richard Hannay novels by John Buchan. The 39 Steps has been done, but I think we could make it work.” 

“Shall I send an email to the company informing them of your first picks?”

“No, I’d better do that. I’m going to be dealing with them- wait a minute. Did I actually decide I’m keeping them?”

“I believe so, Mr. Hogan.”

“Well, everyone needs a hobby. So. Let’s expand our range a bit. Agatha Christie has been done to death at this point, let’s not go back to those. Instead, I’d like to see what we can do with Christianna Brand. And Josephine Tey! Nobody’s done a complete series of her Alan Grant books and it needs to happen.”

(Happy’s new production company launches a series of Golden Age mystery adaptations and wins multiple awards. Happy is their star because he has a habit of picking winners.)

 

 **II.**  
“Tony,” Rhodey says flatly.

“Yeeees?”

“You bought my mother an island?”

“Your mom is awesome and she deserves a private island. With cabana boys. But fully dressed, because otherwise it would be weird. And also, they know not to hit on her even though she’s really pretty and awesome. I think they might start a cult in her honor instead.”

_“Tony.”_

*looks innocent*

Rhodey sighs. Loudly. With vim and vigor and other fun words. 

“At least don’t buy her a private jet.”

“Would I do that?”

“YES!”

*sulks a bit* “OK, no private jet.”

(Tony does not buy her a jet. He buys Papa Rhodes a perpetual subscription to a private jet service so they can visit the island whenever they please. Mama Rhodes loves her island. Papa Rhodes becomes head of the cult honoring Mama Rhodes. Their son reminds himself to be more careful when providing Tony with loopholes to exploit. And joins the cult, because why not. Pepper just sighs.)

 

 **III.**  
“JARVIS?”

“Yes, Ms. Potts?”

“A private spa? Really?”

“Sir selected this after I vetoed a baby elephant, a tiger cub, and a small country. He was looking at San Marino, Liechtenstein, and the Marshall Islands.”

“Why- wait, I don’t even want to know. Thank you, JARVIS. But what do I do with a private spa?”

“Sir thinks you should have somewhere to go for pampering without an audience. He is aware you find salons and large spas distressing because of observers noting every move you make. The staff at this spa is all under an NDA.”

“He’s not dying again, is he?”

“No more than usual, Ms. Potts.”

“So not reassuring...”

(Tony is not currently dying. Pepper spends half a day each week at her new spa. She’s considering taking the idea and starting a franchise. The baby elephant and tiger cub went to appropriate sanctuaries with their mamas. Pepper has video footage of the baby elephant flattening Tony into a mud puddle as it tries to sit in his lap. She sends a copy to Rhodey and saves one to her phone to watch when she’s stressed. Tony decides that acquiring a country can wait. Pepper is much relieved.)

 

 **IV.**  
“JARVIS?”

“Yes, Colonel?”

“Tony bought me a bouncy castle. With a ball pit and a swimming pool.”

“Sir feels you should have your own castle, and that while Alnwick and Neuschwanstein are delightful, you might prefer something with lower maintenance.”

“...I’m not sure even Tony could have gotten the Percys or the Bavarian Palace Department to sell.”

“I would not underestimate Sir’s persuasiveness.”

*facepalms* “How close a call was it?”

“Negotiations were underway.”

“A bouncy castle suddenly seems tame in comparison. Tell Tony to meet me in the ball pit in ten minutes.”

(Rhodey and Tony spend the rest of the day in the bouncy castle playing in the ball pit and swimming. Rhodey discovers that bouncing is incredibly relaxing after a day of dealing with the brass. He can imagine he’s squishing their various tender parts with each jump. His stress levels decrease markedly.)

 

 **V.**  
“Tony, Mr. Rhodes’ birthday is coming up. Please, don’t go wild. He doesn’t need a production company, another island, a spa, a baby elephant, a tiger cub, a bouncy castle, or a country. Just get him something sensible that he can use.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got just the thing!”

“Oh, God…”

***

Pepper walks into the penthouse living room to find Mr. Rhodes cosily knitting in a beautifully carved rocking chair she hadn’t seen before. “I didn’t know you were a fiber artist, sir?”

“Oh, I’m nothing that fancy. I just like making things for the family and friends.”

“Well, it’s a nice restful- wait. When did we get beanbag chairs? And where did the rocker come from? Oh, no, let me guess, Tony made it. Does it have repulsors?”

“This rocker has lived in our room in Tony’s house- whichever house that is- since we’ve known him. And the beanbags aren’t beanbags.”

Pepper shudders. “I’m afraid to ask.” 

“Sock yarn.”

_“...what.”_

“They’re full of sock yarn. It’s quite comfortable, actually.”

“How much sock yarn?”

“According to the receipts, about fifteen thousand dollars worth,” Mr. Rhodes says cheerfully.

Pepper is about to respond (or facepalm, she’s not sure which) when Mrs. Rhodes comes into the living room leading a stumbling Tony. “No more coffee, you need a nap. Come over here and sit with me.” She maneuvers him over to the beanbag-sock chair and plunks him down, sitting next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. She shakes out the afghan she’d been carrying on her other arm and drapes it over them both. 

“Best Mama Rhodes ever.”

“Shush and watch Papa knit while we cuddle in this comfy chair.”

“So cool...” Tony’s eyelids were visibly drooping. His head drops onto Mrs. Rhodes’ shoulder and he is asleep in seconds. Mrs. Rhodes smiles at her husband, one of those long-married-couple smiles that say so much without words, as she pets Tony like a puppy. 

Pepper will never admit to cooing just a tiny bit.

(Papa Rhodes makes many, many socks. Tony starts wearing them to board meetings {yes, he’s wearing other clothing as well.} The designs are a viral hit and Papa Rhodes puts up free patterns on Ravelry with the proviso that anyone using the patterns has to create a pair for charity. Knitters everywhere start turning out StarkSocks for homeless shelters and preemies in hospitals and wounded soldiers and search and rescue dogs and anyone who might need them.)


End file.
